Lost in the Abyss: You are More Than Your Genetics

I can’t imagine losing a parent to death. I haven’t had to experience this. If you have, I truly and dearly sympathize with you…I can’t even begin to relate on that aspect.

But I have lost my parents emotionally.

They are not the same parents I grew up with. They have chosen other things over their health, sanity, and children. They have given up. They are not the mom and dad I remember. They are strangers.

I cherish my memories I have. I hold them dear to my heart. I can still remember laying on my dad’s chest, moving up and down with every breath and listening to his heart beat. I remember my mom laughing hysterically to my silly jokes. I remember the comfort I felt by crawling into their king size bed and just watching television.

Mom cooked dumplings without the chicken because she knew they were my favorite. Dad would take me on the motorcycle and go way to fast because he knew I loved living on the edge. They bragged about their kids’ athletic abilities and above all else, our intelligence.

Granted, most days were not peachy. In fact, a lot of them were pretty dark. But we won’t dwell on those. These were the parents I was given, and I choose to remember the good. I was always so glad to have parents that had never been divorced. Who stuck together through the worst of times. In retrospect, I realize this was a thought of mere fantasy. They weren’t a healthy couple. But, alas, they were my couple. My parents. My loves.

I miss them dearly, and I hope one day they will return. Here’s hoping.

Moving on without them is hard. I don’t have mom and dad to run to when my life is in shambles. I don’t have parents to call when something goes great in my life and I want someone to be proud.  There is a void in my heart that cannot be filled. Because you only get one set of parents. And mine are gone.

If I ever get married, I won’t have my dad to walk me down the aisle. My children will have to grow up without grandparents. Mother’s and Father’s day are now a thing of sadness instead of joy. Holiday traditions are simply memories.

But I’m okay. I’m independent. I have my grandparents. I have my siblings. I have my aunts and uncles. I have my cousins. I have been more than blessed with an absolutely amazing family who cares about me beyond belief. And I love them more than could ever be put into words.

Regardless of not having my parents around, I am surviving. I am thriving.

“When we can no longer change our circumstances, we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Victor Frankl

We grow up so dependent upon our parents. Physically and emotionally. The thought of living without them is sorrow inducing. Though painful, we can go on without them. They are not a requirement for happiness or survival. While they surely can enhance this, they are not essential.

There are new memories to be made and new traditions to be had. There is light and joy in life that is waiting to be savored. Don’t let your circumstances define you.

You are more than your genetics. 

Stay  Classy,

SM

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